Lost

SX-70 Polaroid - Mendocino Coastline

My Goals.

That is what must have set my thoughts in motion.

I was stripping the bed linens, good ole Monday laundry day.

And it just hit me.

That feeling.

That feeling...

When everything just felt lost.

And it hasn't felt right since.

Almost two months ago now.

Standing along the rugged coastline.

A view quite similar to the polaroid above, taken a few years ago.

That moment when I felt lost.

It's taken a while to build up... years.

But it was this moment when deep down my heart knew.

*****

A familiar place.

Filled with happy memories.

Love.

Set along the coastline of Mendocino.

Just steps from Point Cabrillo Lighthouse.

The two of us stood.

No words.

Like forgotten statues.

Forgotten love.

Frozen.

The chill of the ocean breeze against our skin.

All warmth extinguished.

He reached for my waist to draw me closer.

But it was as if we weren't touching.

The void.

It couldn't be breached.

It was less than a few minutes.

We stood.

Rigid and unnatural.

Someone I've known for so long.

Yet it all felt like I didn't know us.

And hadn't known us for a very long time.

He dropped his arm from my waist.

And walked away.

He left me standing at the edge of the cliff.

Without a word.

No emotion.

Just left me.

Waves crashing below.

My heart knew.

As it cried.

Deep.

Hollow.

Empty.

Aching.

Lost.

One tear slid down my cheek.

My eyes.

Searching the ocean.

One last time.

I knew I would never come back to this spot.

Deep down.

My heart crying.

Lost.

*****